


I Am Loki's Damaged Psyche.

by SpeakerOfLies



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Consider This OOC I Guess, F/M, Fight Club AU, It's Midnight and I Can't Sleep So I Had To Write This, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 01:21:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpeakerOfLies/pseuds/SpeakerOfLies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fight Club inspired AU. </p>
<p>There is no Loki without Thor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Loki's Damaged Psyche.

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea to write a Fight Club inspired AU minus the actual fight club. What follows is the product of sleeplessness and a sudden stroke of inspiration at midnight.
> 
> Mainly about Thor & Loki, with some slight Sif tossed in.
> 
> I do not own the characters or Fight Club, althought I wish I did.

Thor is my brother and he's all I've got.

* * * *  
Thor always believed that getting Odin's attention for being bad was better than getting no attention from him at all. As he put it, receiving Odin's hate is better than his indifference. There was a time in my life where I gladly would have agreed with Thor's wise words.

This was not one of those times.

The old man was berating Thor and I for some slight that I can't quite remember anymore, something about acting like a child raised in the streets rather than an Odinsson, practically born of royal blood. As always, the victim of his verbal lashings was yours truly. 

He never told off Thor. 

The golden one, all muscle and tan skin and blond hair as gold as the Rolex on my father's wrist. Thor was the poster boy for the perfect, all-American son. He put those twink Abercrombie and Fitch models to shame.

It was almost as though they never saw Thor, as if I was their only son and therefore had to be perfect. 

So I sat through Odin's disparaging speech and austere looks with a serious expression I had taught myself at a young age.

I am Loki's sense of hatred.

* * * *

The doctors diagnosed me with chronic insomnia that was probably due to all the sleepless nights I had as a teenager working hard to earn perfect grades to please parents that were never around. 

They prescribed Halcion, Restoril, and ProSom for me to take so that I could get some rest, but they never worked. Being the guy working towards becoming a business major, however, I put my education to good use and made myself a nice wad of cash peddling the drugs to my sleep-deprived peers.

Thor and I had graduated from college the same year, despite his being a year and a half older than I. 

We both moved into a two bedroom condo downtown, and shortly after, I got a job at some accounting firm. I was living the dream that most others would kill for.

I had it all, and yet I still found myself wanting more.

I am Loki's dissatisfaction.

* * * *

"All I'm saying is," Thor mumbled through a bite of his third hot dog, mustard smearing the corner of his mouth, "You don't need coffee right now. It's five in the afternoon, not five in the fucking morning." 

His tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth, licking off the bit of mustard left on his mouth.

"I never said I needed coffee, just that I wanted some at this moment. Am I not allowed to have cravings?" I spat back at him.

Thor gave me one of his thousand mega-watt smiles as he erupted into the deep laughter he was famous for. Dressed in one of his trademark flannel shirts, faded blue jeans and scuffed boots, he looked the part of a model for a J. Crew catalogue.

I opened the door to the little twenty-four hour coffee shop that was mostly dead save for a hooded figure slumped over a table covered in papers in the corner of the shop.

Walking over to the barista, I ordered a passionfruit tea for Thor and black coffee for myself from a girl who looked as though she could use some caffeine herself. Her name tag had a name scrawled on it that I believed read Jane. It was difficult to read.

She handed me the drinks a few minutes later, looking over at the sleeping lump in the shop.

The sleeping person woke with a twitch, head raising quickly. The hood was pulled back to reveal a woman, about the same age as Thor and I.

She let out a hushed "fuck" as she looked around frantically, hazel eyes settling on Thor and I.

"What time is it?

Pouring some sugar into my coffee, I nodded toward the clock on the wall above the barista  
"5:24. Afternoon."

The woman slumped back in her chair, letting out a deep sigh of relief. "Thanks.. I really should sleep more." 

Thor elbowed me in the ribs, inclining his head towards the girl. I shook my head slowly. He huffed and walked over to the woman's table, his friendliest grin on his handsome face.

"Sorry about my brother's lack of overall friendliness, miss. Name's Thor," he winked charmingly at her, "and that is Loki."

She turned to look at me, her eyes roaming over my body. After looking me over for a few more seconds with an unreadable expression, she pushed the chair in front of her out with her boot.

We took it as an invitation and sat down with the woman whose name I later found out was Sif Tyrsdottir

I am Loki's heart.

* * * *

Sif moved in with us eight months after we had started dating.

Thor didn't mind much, stating that she was cooler than most women he'd met before. He also said that the fact that she was beautiful didn't hurt.

I pretended not to hear that last remark.

Sif was fire, the light to my dark. She had brought out emotions in me that I had thought were long forgotten.

The first time we made love, rather than the usual passionate fucking, I slept for ten hours.

Babies don't sleep this good.

* * * *

Thor was up earlier than me for a change. 

He was dressed in his usual outift of a flannel, jeans and boots. His typically joyful expression was replaced by a saddened look that looked wrong on his face.

He gave me a half-hearted smile as I walked into the kitchen.

Thor was always like the sun, bright and shining and golden. To see him this way worried me. 

"Is there something wrong?" I asked him as I opened the refrigerator door, pulling out a chilled water bottle. 

He gave a deep sigh before he finally spoke.

"I'm leaving, Loki. I'm going to go live with Mother."  
I frowned as he pushed away from the table, standing up slowly.

"You and Sif are going to start your life together soon; I would only be intruding."

I slammed my fist down on the table. The plastic of the water bottle in my hand made a loud crunching noise as my hand tightened around it. 

"Goddamn it, Thor, you don't know what you're talking about. You're my brother. You wouldn't  
be intruding on anything."

We stood in the kitchen for what seemed like ages. He would give me a small smile every now and then, but my chest heaved with something I couldn't identify.

There was the muted sound of Sif's footsteps as she padded into the kitchen, eyes darting back amd forth between Thor and I. She crossed her arms over her chest, tucking a loose strand of black hair behind her ear.

"Loki," she whispered slowly, "what's going on here?"

I never once broke eye contact with Thor, blinking back tears. My jaw clenched.

"I need you, Thor. You're all I've got." I breathed out.  
Sif stepped closer to me, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

She was silent for a few moments before finally speaking.

"Loki.. Who are you talking to?" 

 

* * * *

There

Is

No

Loki

Without

Thor.

**Author's Note:**

> It's a mess, I know. I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense.
> 
> Bonus points if you spotted the little sprinkles of Fight Club I threw in here.


End file.
